All The Pieces Of Yourself

I  dance with all pieces of myself

Shards of my past 

Broken and sometimes smashed 

Have created the grace I now love. 

I move to create  

And create with connection, 

Glueing my pieces 

With the adhesive of self compassion. 

I am holy broken, 

With my gaze towards the stars 

Leaping into the pieces of myself.

-Suzanne Mueller 2024

A while ago I hosted a workshop where we smashed, bashed and then created the broken pieces into sculptures. The exercise was loosely based on the Japanese principle of Kintsugi. Kintsurgi, the art of repairing broken pottery with precious metals such as gold to symbolize the cracks, are what make the piece beautiful, highlighting that it is our scars that are valuable, not our perception of needing perfection or “wholeness.” 

So often, especially in the capitalist and Western world, we put more emphasis on being “whole” and avoid showing our cracks to others or the world. Personal cracks, we fear, diminish our validity and void our potential. We spend so much time squeezing ourselves into perceived boxes of what it means to be successful, a good partner, have the latest items of fashion or technology or to be seen as desirable by those that observe us that we can lose track of the power of authenticity. This loss of authenticity creates so much discomfort in the body, soul and mind. We have shoved ourselves into an imaginary shape in which no BODY could ever actually inhabit. Bodies are naturally full of imperfections, and trying to smooth, ignore or invalidate all the imperfections creates internal chaos and confusion. 

The fact is, however, that no matter how we try, the more we avoid and push away the uncomfortable and broken pieces of ourselves, the more disconnected we actually become. Sitting in safety with emotions is challenging and takes practice, and usually requires a variety of resources including building confidence in creativity and play. I typically integrate these into therapy sessions through actively tailoring interventions that are interactive and metaphorical. This allows us to increase the vulnerability of self reflection of the unconscious to conscious experience, moving past our fearful parts that attempt to hijack or defend us against the truth of the emotions beneath the layers of safeguards we have put around us. 

When we embrace all parts of ourselves, the messy, the imperfect, the reality of ourselves, we also develop self compassion. Self compassion then supports us in increasing our ability to engage in self reflection, self assertion and clear decision making. We are no longer acting from fear, avoidance and internalized guilt/shame. We all have this light and capability of self exploration and self compassion/love. And, as an additional reminder, we are all on this journey together. You are not alone. 

If you are feeling crafty and curious about engaging in an embodied practice of building your own personal “Kintsurgi,” check out the correlating worksheet/activity I have posted on my website for purchase titled “All the Pieces of Myself.” 

The benefits once we learn to embrace all the multi-facets of ourselves, is that we begin to feel more centered, secure and appreciative of the concept of personal “self.” When we are settled in our bodies, we can be settled in our relationships, friendships and lifestyles. 

From All of My Pieces To Yours— Suzanne