A Work In Progress
We are all a work in progress. During one of my internships in graduate school, I remember feeling that I had built a great rapport with a client. And then I got cocky, feeling like “I knew it all.” The client then really challenged me, and I felt like I had gone back to square one. I remember going to my supervisor in tears after a session, sharing my frustrations and feelings of failure that what I had thought was great, had turned out to be super challenging. My supervisor shared something that I now share both with my own clients, as well as with those that I supervise:
“As soon as your energy says to the world around you, “I know it all, I’ve got this, Things are GREAT. I don’t really need to push myself to keep growing.” The world will turn right back around on you and say, “NOPE! We are never done learning. Let’s Keep Growing:
Don’t give up just because there was a challenge
You still have more growth left within you
The world said HA! I see your potential for growth even if you think you know it all
You are always a work in progress
I emphasize especially this last message, of “we are always a work in progress” to every clinician I supervise. I advise that the moment the clinician feels they “know it all” and stops challenging themselves to learn and grow (because let’s face it, the human condition is SUPER complex), that they are burnt out and need to take a serious look at their own selves. The message for clients is that therapy starts them on a lifelong journey. The goal is not to be in counseling for the entirety of life, but to build the skills and tolerance to be able to cope with life long learning and self reflection as not scary, but important and integral to our human condition BECAUSE we are complex and life is nuanced. There is not a goal of “getting to the end goal,” but about building emotional and physical safety in engaging in personal resilience building towards mistakes, errors and gaffe’s that we make in life, and rather than letting those moments define us, allowing them to teach us.
This coming weekend, I will be participating with the local dance collective I’m involved with in a “Works In Progress” show. My dance group, Marble Valley Dance Collective (MVDC), is a group of adult folx, with our youngest dancer being in their early 20’s and our oldest just turned 70 this year, who all have a passion for movement. There is no expectation of skill, dance background, body size/ability or demand for perfection in this group. We all just celebrate the creation and experience of moving for ourselves and others. We take turns teaching, choreographing and performing. We celebrate each other's individualities and truly cheer each other on. While we perform a few times a year on small scales (such as at local events), we have one big performance a year in the spring. Mid-year through though, we present a “Works in Progress” show. The works in progress show is where a few choreographers volunteer sections of their choreography to showcase for the public, so the public has the opportunity to witness first hand that performance, dance and art takes time to develop. The pieces we will be performing are not complete, and have the flexibility of error and exploration. We continue to remind our pre-performance nerves that this showcase is not for perfection, but development.
I love how MVDC embodies the practice of acknowledging the importance of being a work in progress. We show up in our vulnerability for the public at our works in progress show, where the costumes are not complete yet, the choreography may still be a bit choppy, and only partial pieces are performed. This truly embodies and exhibits the value of the message my supervisor gave me, and the message I continue to share with others. We are a work in progress, and that is something to be celebrated instead of feared.
Reflection Questions:
What are some ways you can reframe challenges to learning and growing experiences?
Take some time to create two lists for yourself:
List 1: Identify a Current Challenge/Challenges Occurring in Your Life
List 2: Brainstormed Idea(s) of How The Challenge Could Be A Work in Progress For Myself
Make a list of 2 new things you could try for yourself this week. Notice what you feel your take-aways of growth are after you do them.
Reflect on any personal feelings or internal pressures towards perfectionism. Reflect on how you could increase gentle self compassion to reframe perfectionist thinking to how you are already doing your best.
If you are in the Rutland, Vermont area, come check Marble Valley Dance Collective’s Works In Progress Show:
Saturday, November 22nd 7 PM
West Rutland Town Hall
General Admission $10 at the door: Cash, Check, or Venmo
West Rutland Town Hall, 35 Marble St, West Rutland, VT 05701
https://marblevalleydancecollectivevt.weebly.com/
